stephen’s problem

stephen conley asks:

I have a serious guilt issue that stems from not providing food and beverage to fellow tailgaters at a rock ‘n roll show back in the eighties. Although I knew them, they had nothing to offer me so therefore I offered nothing to them. As it turns out, I witnessed one of them nearly twenty years later steamroll a good friends child during what I thought was an innocent game of whiffle ball in Connecticut. I can’t sleep at night.

while skimming the post, fire up this number from the wayback machine.

ok, here we go:

wait, before we begin please read the label

and take stock in yourself:

as you look back to the days of eating under-cooked meat in parking lots you need to realize that the never-ending feelings of regret, the curly hair now growing in your ears

and nagging guilt are all part of swimming towards the deep end of life.

ok, enough of the mystical horsecrap, let’s get into it:

1. as i see it, the key nugget, the smoking gun, the straw that stirs the drink

is the very root of your question:

they had nothing to offer me so therefore I offered nothing to them

let me repeat that for those just looking at the pictures:

they had nothing to offer me so therefore I offered nothing to them

by the way that line would look great on a t-shirt

and should be available for purchase at  happenin’ joints like this place.

you’ll be pleased to hear that there is 100% agreement (sample of 2) with your line of thinking amongst leadership in the tailgating community .

articles I and II:

I. ripped from the headlines on

“if you don’t bring anything don’t expect anything. Simply put, don’t be a mooch.  Don’t be an asshole.”

II. and from

“A mooch is basically someone who wanders from tailgate party to tailgate party and takes advantage of the tailgating community’s general hospitality and generosity…

feeling better but not quite cured?  that’s because you missed an opportunity to become a better person.

you could have offered them a cold, frothy pour of

karma in a cup.

2. secondly, your friend’s bold and aggressive wiffle ball play must be forgiven.

wiffle ball is a big time sport and 100% concentration and performance enhancing drugs are a must

i am however sorry you had to witness the injury of a young child but you now need to put this entire issue behind you.  steamrolling can be fun:

so when justin beiber is next in town and you and the fellas are planning the tailgate, remember don’t bogart that karma my friend and make sure the items on this checklist are covered:

(checklist provided by Fans Without Footprints. want to hear more about FWF? then help find a sponsor to pay for its launch)

i hope this helps.

About harry groome

it's all right here
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