michelle’s problem

michelle orman asks:

The office building I work in has a shared bathroom which is unisex. Confirming my general belief that most men are disgusting, I’m continually confronted with the issue of men 1) leaving the toilet seat up and 2) failing to flush the toilet after they’re done. I’ve left notes on the wall, but nothing seems to get these men to follow the basic rules of society. Can you help me??

the smooth stylings of brad paisley puts all of this into perspective. hit play and listen while you read.

michelle,

you have packed several issues into one question so allow me to deconstruct your problem(s) carefully, and in no particular order.

1. your unisex bathroom problem:

sorry to hear you are having so much trouble with your unisex situation.

for me, the unisex bathroom in my dorm freshman year is where i learned to “share in the shower”. but having to deal with unsanitary conditions at work is unacceptable.

so i recommend that you: BYOS (Bring Your Own Seat).

this lightweight number lies flat and can easily slip into one of your fashionable handbags (bucket not included) right next to your ipad with room to spare for a roll of tp. order yours here.

2. your general belief that most men are disgusting:

it is true that what we do behind closed doors often times does not line up with the image projected by brad pitt, the guy from the hangover, the newest bond, the weird little guy from radiohead, jon stewart, or tom brady (who am i missing? i am sure a lot).

but you are not alone when thinking of men as disgusting.  64% of women think it’s disgusting for men not to wear underwear.

yet a higher % of women say it makes them feel sexy when they go commando– source: kgb.com

3. bathroom violations:

a) leaving the toilet seat up

this is an age-old issue that has been debated for years and one i have not paid much attention to. it falls into the same category for me as ladies first, mind your elders, and tipping at starbucks. so my accuracy may be a bit off but here goes:

a product for you to ask your super to install

is the double-decker toilet seat:

unisex toilet seat. women's on top

women on top, men on the bottom. safe for both sexes.

also, this may help:

“If the seat is left up I can be assured it will not be wet!”–anonymous woman sharing a bathroom with a husband and two boys who coincidentally also shares my last name.

b) failing to flush the toilet after they’re done:

sounds like you are sure the non-flushers are all male. but in this increasingly eco-conscious world we live in may i suggest you consider other culprits?

take sheryl crow (please) for example:

sheryl is teaching her 2 year old son to conserve water by:

“not flushing the toilet unless, you know, you have to.”

(i’m now humming “if it’s yellow let it mellow. if it’s brown flush it down” to the tune of all i wanna do is have some fun.” )

4. getting men to follow the basic rules of society:

you can pick this tome up at amazon:

although i only thumbed through it i was disappointed not find any mention of bathroom etiquette. hmmm.

finally, i offer this clip from the brave and honest portrayal of what goes on inside of a bathroom for men as depicted in the classic coming of age film dumb and dumber:

even after these extreme circumstances i am sure harry flushed.

i hope this helps.

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